Why is it so difficult for smart women to lose weight? Conscientious women practice “calories in vs. calories out”, tediously count calories, set ambitious goals, make promises to themselves to “stick to it” and still fail to lose the pounds. When that doesn’t work, they rigorously research the latest news in the world of diets, try limiting carbs or fats, and invariably fall off the wagon in a binge of the forbidden foods.

How many notebooks or digital files have you created dedicated to your weight loss journey?

How many different people have you partnered with and bared your soul to?

How much money have you invested in your weight loss goals?

How many times have you modified your dietary habits over holidays and celebrations to be a good little girl and stick to your plan?

When you think of the sacrifices you’ve made, are you happy with the results?

I’m guessing that your answer to some of these questions is “no.” There are energetic blockages that can prevent you from losing weight despite what your calorie counting software would lead you to believe. Here are several reasons why you might be doing everything right according to your calorie counter, but the pounds just aren’t coming off:

1. Your calorie restriction is probably too extreme.

Smart women want to work efficiently and get things done quickly. That’s why they study thermodynamics and put their calories deficit goal on overdrive without realizing that it will cause failure in the end. We’ve all seen extreme deficits work for some, but if you are a serial dieter, it’s time to give that up! Shoot for a 500 calorie deficit and make peace with the fact that the weight loss will be gradual.

You are not a Victoria’s Secret model, so don’t try to eat like one. Thin or petite women who make a living posting Instagram reels of exotic travel destinations need far fewer calories than obese or overweight women climbing the career lady while balancing a hectic family life or social calendar! You may hear of someone losing weight on 1300 calories, but if you are burning 2300 as a 35 year old woman with a stressful job who walks her dogs (almost) daily and squeezes in chores/family/social engagements all evening and weekend — it’s likely not a sustainable target!

2. You are overworked, exhausted, and nearing burnout.

Smart women work challenging jobs. If you are starting a weight loss journey while you are juggling extreme life stressors such as a job change, new baby, breakup, financial stress, etc. you are putting yourself at risk of burnout. If you feel you are overly stressed, attempting to lose weight puts you at risk of burnout. If your method of embarking on a weight loss plan involves hardcore workouts before/after work at the expense of your sleep and mental wellbeing, then you are putting yourself at risk of burnout. Be kind to yourself, and make sure you focus on small healthy changes during tough times, instead of extreme measures that are bound to fail.

3. You are partying too hard on the weekends.

Smart girls work hard and play hard. No matter how “good” you are during the week, if you spend your weekends going through case of hard seltzers, shots, and/or full bottles of wine; you are going to erase that deficit you created all week. Consider limiting yourself to 1-2 libations, if you must imbibe. It’s also worth considering eliminating alcohol all together if you want to ensure that your calorie deficit- you can do this!

4. Your cheat days are off the chain (in a bad way).

Smart girls plan ahead. Listen, cheat day should not consist of multiple meals containing french fries, more than a single serving of rich dessert, or whole bags of potato chips. Yes, it’s absolutely OK to take a break from perfectly clean eating to enjoy an indulgent meal, but if your cheat day is more like a 24 hour or more binge, you need to exam what you are eating during the week. Binging is a natural response to extreme deprivation. Don’t get angry at yourself for falling off the wagon. If you are binging, the root cause if not getting enough nutrients in your diet due to extremely disordered eating patterns. Reexamine your health eating plan, add a few more calories and healthy versions of the foods you crave, and see if you find yourself avoiding the binge.

5. You don’t believe in yourself.

Smart women make intelligent judgements based on the evidence their mind gathers. This one is for the women who have tried and failed repeatedly, for years or decades. It is only logical that you would lose faith in the process and feel you have done it all. It makes perfect sense that the failures of the past are seared in your memory making it hard to have faith in the future.

I would argue that this is the most important idea in this article. Lean in closely: When you don’t believe in yourself, it looks like negative self-talk. It looks like saying “ugh” when you look in the mirror instead of seeing the beauty while doing a great job of sticking to your plan. It looks like saying to yourself and others “I’m on this stupid diet that probably isn’t going to work anyway.” It looks like frantically changing from one extreme diet to another. It looks like giving up after the scale didn’t move in a week or two.

So what is the solution? If you are going to find success, you have to take time to meditate. Many of your previous weight loss attempts were too extreme. They were designed out of desperation during tough times in your life. They were based on fad diets instead of prioritizing health food. Stop living in the past.

Moving forward, you are going to need to visualize your success at losing weight every single day. You are going to need to start living as the healthy woman you intend to be. You are going to think about what it feels like to be at a healthy weight. How would your coworkers treat you? What would you post on social media? What would you buy when you go shopping? What would you wear as a guest to a wedding? Make space in your day for meditation where you train your subconscious to become the new person instead of being stuck in Groundhogs Day as your old, overweight self! More on this topic coming soon… Thanks for reading!

Love, Kelly (your weight loss bestie)